just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
COCAINE IS GR8
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
