Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
