i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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