on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
