fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
