If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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