Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
