All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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