we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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