I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Randomize
