Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
