dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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