you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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