Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
