you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
