I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize