is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
