He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
