We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
where does the pee come out of this thing
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize