dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just googled if crying burns calories
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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