I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize