Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
