doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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