i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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