some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
he just fucked me for my cheese..
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize