Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I FOUND THE LEGS
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
