He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
