After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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