My nipple is on Facebook.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
