She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
