I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
