Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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