Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
