i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Walk of Shame today included voting.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
