I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
