Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I didn't notice because vodka
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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