that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
where does the pee come out of this thing
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
