just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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