Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize