I heard we made out
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
