After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize