He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
