Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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