I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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