And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
