Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
