nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
