we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
