dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
