I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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