Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize