Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
