Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize