he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
