I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
