We're like a lot better than the average bears
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize