how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Randomize
