I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I think I sprained my soul last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
