We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize