But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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