how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
