im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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