you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
