wakey wakey hands off snakey
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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