they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
