we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
