There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I have fence marks all over my body
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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