I must be too annoying 4 u.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
