Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
