He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
