You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
