Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I don't think brook has ever known best
well you can't waste a boner
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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