Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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